How I met my husband.

You know that if I’m writing about it there has to be a funny story behind it, and I promise you this one has a few doozies.

I hadn’t been single for long, four months to be exact, when a mutual friend of mine began asking if I would be interested in meeting one of his friends. Apparently this friend of his had seen me pop up on Facebook here and there and was completely in love with me (ok that may be slightly fabricated), but he was definitely asking about me. I had recently split with someone and at 29 (which by Greek girl standards means I was officially an old maid) and I was completely devastated with the fact my “kids by 30” bucket list point was no longer a reality. I had actually slowly come to terms with the fact that I may never have children and I would just have to be the “cool aunty” to all my friends kids, because I would never get married in time to have kids before menopause. The math equated to it. Who knows how long until I met someone, then date for a few years, if he was the right one you then get engaged, one year to plan the wedding and then the following year babies. That would put me well into my late 30’s! Definitely menopause. Have I ever told you I over react? So there I was, 29 years old, single and already considering retiring my eggs. OF COURSE I was happy to meet his friend, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! I would have gone on a date with a camel! So as we chatted away on Facebook that night he sent me the link to the profile belonging to his friend, Robert George….

Now let me preface this by saying I was 29, in my prime aesthetically, and all I had ever cared about in the past was how good-looking a guy was, yes I was completely shallow, so as I flicked over to this profile and saw the profile pic he had at the time, my knee jerk reaction was this…. “Are you kidding me? Come on, give me some credit.” “I can do better than that.” “He looks like Agro from Agro’s cartoon connection.” Oh and the best one…. “I swear, I think 2 caterpillars crawled across his face and decided to hibernate there for the winter.” Yes, yes I said that.. and that was the end of that suggestion. In the weeks to follow though, this clever little boy was plotting his attack and slowly making his move.

This was my profile shot at the time

and this was his….

The plot thickens

In the next few weeks his friends kept bringing him up to me and one day as the visited me at work he coincidentally called whilst they were with me and they told me to answer and play a trick on him. Then he would see me comment on status’ and he would jump in too and we would banter with each other back and forth. People were becoming sick of us.

He makes his move

One night he sent me a message and we started chatting. That night we chatted until 3 am, sending each other YouTube links of lady boys singing Mariah Carey songs and I laughed until my face hurt and the next day my abs hurt. He was funny! We continued to chat for a while and he suggested we meet. I shut him down. Then he suggested we “play a trick on our friends”. I played right into it. His plan was to meet up and pretend it was a date and trick them all. How did I not see through that?

The night we met

It was a Friday night and I was heading to Rah Bar with my posse after my shift in retail late night trade. I finished at 9pm, headed to my mums house, as it was near Chadstone and borrowed a top (yes I wore my mums top) and headed out for the night. This information is important because it shows I really didn’t consider it a date, I didn’t even freshen up my make up. So we met up and his next suggestion (after a few drinks) was to send his friends a picture of us that looked like we were kissing. I agreed, then he came in for a real kiss, THE SLEAZE!!!! It was nice though, like really nice. WHAT?!?! I was confused, so I bolted, classic Zoe move. Then he called me and talked to me the whole drive home, to ensure I made it home safely. Such a gentleman, a real sweet guy.

The night we met. My mums top and those eyebrows.

The pic we sent to our friends

The confession

When I finally agreed to going on a real date with him, and we decided to live by Bangs, the Sudanese Hip Hop artists from Dandenong (another YouTube artist we sent clips of to each other) whose music included “met her on the Facebook”, which we did, and “take her to the movies” which he did next. He was SUCH a nice guy I felt like such a mole for being so rude about his looks, that I told him, I confessed it all. He laughed, and actually in his wedding speech there was a sentence in there along the lines of “How do you like them eyebrows now?”.

I married him

No matter how many times I tried to get rid of him, he stuck around. I told him where the spare key to my house was one day and he stole it, I never got it back. He slowly began bringing things to my house and leaving them there, like those cliché women do in the movies. I even tried to break up with him at the “3 month evaluation period” and he refused to leave, said I was stuck with him. The “3 month evaluation period” was when I made it to 3 months with a guy, I would sit down and evaluate whether the relationship was going somewhere or not and then either break up with them or give them “the cookie”. I think in the first few months of a relationship everyone is on their best behaviour so you need to keep a clear mind until their real self comes out. I have always been very calculated with my emotions, stone cold.

I was thinking about the 3 month evaluation

He had a plan and he succeeded, this smart man locked me in within the year, we married six months later and he has now given me two more loves in my life. Clearly I have guided him and made him the silver fox he is now and I am so very blessed he chose me and persisted until he made it happen.

Thanks for reading. Love you all. Zoe xoxo